REASON #1126

Welcome to the Joke Club California. Such a lovely place. Such a lovely place.

A new U.S. government report states that the insurgency in Iraq is financially self-sufficient, raising somewhere between $70 million to $200 million a year. The money comes from oil smuggling, paid ransoms, and the yearly "Trick or Treat for Insurgency" drive.

Victoria Gotti checked out of a Manhattan hospital Friday, less than a week after being treated for a stroke. The stroke was found Saturday, buried under the 20-yard line at Giants Stadium.

A New Mexico man discovered $28,000 worth of marijuana under the back seat of his newly purchased used car. The car wasn't a Prius, but brother, was it green.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an 8-Ball at Hyde with my name on it. And when I say that, I mean I'm gonna hang out in my hotel room, and watch infomercials. Yeah.