REASON #1129

We got a few good licks in. No one's ever gonna know. 'Cause Joke Club's going out of buisness, everything must go...

US military scientists are training bees to sniff out explosives used by suicide bombers. It's their biggest sting operation yet.

A group of Canadian doctors released a report that says sitting up straight places more strain on the back than reclining. Next, the team will research whether or not your face will get stuck like that if you keep doing that weird thing with your eyes, Mister.

A new health study in England states that wines from the southwest region of France are best for reducing the risk of heart disease. Meanwhile, Mad Dog 20/20 is still the best wine for increasing the risk of you calling your ex-girlfriend at three o'clock in the morning.

Courage.