REASON #11407

LETTERS TO HOLLYWOOD

Dear Hollywood,

Seven hours and sixteen minutes to go, Hollywood. Or as Jakob Dylan's dad once said, "It's getting dark, too dark to see, sixth avenue heartbreak."

This time tomorrow, we'll be facing each other, longing in our eyes, from across the picket line. I shall stand at the barricade's edge like Eponine, with only my fiery idealism, homemade "No Justice, No Streaming Videos Residuals, No Peace" sign, and Iced Grande Pumpkin Caramel Lattecino to keep me warm.

And you...I beg you Hollywood, try not to think less of me as my brethren and I curse your name for our cause while reciting our favorite Monty Python routines. Promise me you'll emember the good times we had together. I know I will. Let's look back together, shall we?

Weird sleeveless piano player in a baseball hat? A little rememberin' music, please?

So many memories, Hollywood. So much you've given to me over the years...Why, it seems like just yesterday that...

Oh god, and do you remember that time that...

And of course, who could forget...

OH, HOLLYWOOD! THE THOUGHT OF LOSING YOU IS ALL TOO HORRIBLE TO BEAR!

Sorry, H'wood. I promised myself I wouldn't let my Thetan level rise like that. Maybe that federal mediator can clear up all of this fussin' and a-feudin'. Maybe when I wake up tomorrow morning at 2:00pm, all of this will have been a dream. Why...I can see it now....

Just a dream...It was all just a dream...

Yours Cordially,

Josh A. Cagan