REASON #280580

I knew those compromising pictures of Jeff Veen and Bryan Mason would come in handy one day.

Yes, friends, I have been invited to speak!  At a conference!   But not just any ol' conference.   A super awesome, totally grown-up WHY NOT START YOUR BUSINESS, A-HOLE? CONFERENCE!   

Well, that's the name I proposed.   Wisely, Jeff and Bryan (Or, as they're known in the tabloids, VEENASON) decided instead to call it the START CONFERENCE!   

Cambot, can we get that graphic up on still-store?

(He's very convincing, this tiny 8-bit fellow.  Much more so than that weird, late night fox)

"But, Josh," you might find yourself saying, "The very mention of the word 'business' makes you wet your pants.  And-"

Then you'd be interrupted by me wetting my pants.   I'd run out of the room, weeping from both my eyes and, you know, my dong, and you'd be standing there wondering why you started talking to me in the first place.   

Now what could be better than that?   Well, paying 200 clams for the opportunity, you bet!

I kid.   I think that I will be the Flavor Flav to the conference's Chuck D, there to jump about and shout, "Show 'em what you got," and "I have 17 children," while the actual "smart" people talk about smart person things.   

And believe me.   They have smart people by the bushel.   They have Evan "Twitter" Williams, for example.  ("Twitter Williams" by the way, was the name Tennessee Williams used the year he played for the negro leagues.  Well, according to Wikipedia.)  And Merlin "He's so f**king smart, what he actually does for a living is unquantifiable to a guy like me who's scared of pencils" Mann.   

So if you're sick of working for "The Man" aka "The Big Cheese" aka "Twitter Williams," then dag-nabit, point your GPS towards the Cowell Theater in scenic Fort Mason, SF, on Thursday, August 7th, the year of our Lord.   

And make sure to try the Veenason Chili.   It's not gamey at all.